For the first time we found people with whom we could identify and share the pain
of our problem. Others actually understood and felt the same way. We were
accepted for who we were.
We stayed because of the promise of hope. Later we stayed because of hopes
fulfilled. We stayed to preserve a way of life and the positive feelings that were
better than anything we had previously known.
When we came to SRA, it was suggested that we stop our destructive sexual
behaviors. For many of us the initial healing came from complete sexual abstinence
for a period of time. Many of us had never done this, and the prospect was
unimaginable and terrifying. The thought of sobriety seemed painful, impossible, or
just plain boring. Some of us felt that we would die if we didn't have sex.
Then we saw sober women and men in our meetings. They had the same problem,
but they had been able to stop. They seemed happy, or at least happier than we felt.
They were able to laugh at their troubles. Somehow, they had found something
which we wanted. We stayed to learn.
We began to work the Twelve Steps of the program, truly coming to know
ourselves. For some of us, it was the first time that we were clear enough of the
addiction to find out who we were. We began to have a spiritual relationship with a
Power greater than ourselves. For many it became a healing and loving relationship.
As we stayed sober, we began to sense both our need and gratitude for the
program. It became clear that our problems could not be solved by ourselves alone.
We needed the strength and wisdom of the fellowship to learn how to live without
engaging in our addiction, one day at a time. We started to be grateful that there
were other people who understood and could help us through the difficult times.
While at first we stayed because we knew we had to, in order to survive, we now
stay because we want to. We stay out of love for ourselves, our desire to be the
person we always wanted to be, and our love for our fellow members. We are
committed to our recovery, to living a life of joy and acceptance, and to sharing our
struggles and successes with the fellowship. We stay because we know it is here
we can fill the emptiness. Here we can find what we searched for in all the dark
places of our addiction.
This program of recovery offers dignity of self, something more precious than the
sexual experiences we chased.
The Twelve Steps and Twelve
Traditions of SRA offer a healing home in which our
spirits can at first rest, then grow, and finally soar.
