To the Helping Professional

_PURPOSE

_{We have created this pamphlet to apprise people in the helping professions of our experience with sexual addiction. Below, we outline the aims of Sexual Recovery Anonymous, how it can help those who are addicted and how it works in conjunction with counseling and therapy. We hope this may assist you in helping someone you know who shares our problems.}

_{WHAT IS SEXUAL ADDICTION?}

_{To the majority of people, both in and out of the helping professions, the idea of sexual addiction may be new and puzzling. Can someone be addicted to sex? What is the difference between normal sexual desire and addiction? Even if sexual behavior is compulsive, is it necessarily harmful?}

_{Although there has recently been much research on sexual addiction, in this pamphlet we base our observations on our personal experiences. In our own lives, we have seen the compulsive nature of our behavior and the destruction it has wrought. We were driven to ask for help because we could not stop our compulsive behavior by ourselves.}

_{Sex had become a mood-altering behavior to which we turned in order to avoid our true feelings and emotions. This use of sex and sexual fantasy became compulsive; the need to escape, no matter what the cost, was greater than our ability to stop. The "high" we got from sex was so intense that we repeatedly used it in an attempt to avoid the realities of our lives. The pursuit of sex, sexual fantasy, and sexual acting out came to dominate ever greater parts of our existence. We found that no matter how hard we tried to stop or control our behavior, we could not.}

_{There is no single kind of behavior that typifies sexual addiction. Many forms of sexual activity can be used to escape one's feelings. We have found the most common ones include engaging in excessive masturbation, pornography, multiple affairs, voyeurism, sex with strangers and prostitutes, and prostitution itself.}

_{We have engaged in these behaviors despite enormous costs to ourselves and those close to us. By continually numbing ourselves with sex we did great harm to our emotional, physical and spiritual well-being. Our actions were regularly ruled by compulsion rather than common sense, and we put ourselves at great risk. We could not stop despite the risk of AIDS or venereal disease; the danger of violent crime while cruising for prostitutes on deserted streets; the threat of our stash of pornography being discovered by our loved ones; or the chance of pay-for-sex phone calls being traced to us at our work place.}

_{For us, the first realization of our addiction came when we asked the following questions: Is our behavior repeated over and over? Is our behavior emotionally or physically damaging? Do we want to stop but can not?}

_{There is a checklist of symptoms of the addiction included in the pamphlet, Sexual Recovery Anonymous. Many people coming into recovery have found this pamphlet useful in determining if they have a problem with sexual addiction.}

_{HOW CAN SRA HELP WITH SEXUAL ADDICTION?}

_{Our fellowship is a Twelve Step program based on the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous. Our purpose is to recover from sexual addiction and to help others recover. For us, "to recover" means ending our sexually compulsive behavior and healing the emotional wounds that fostered the behavior.}

_{How can our program help if an individual's most vigorous efforts have failed? Our program offers what is not in any individual's power to provide: communion with others, mutual love, compassion and fellowship. Our addiction is like a small secret room, a very private place we enter to be completely alone. This place feels like an integral part of ourselves, but it is one that can never be shared with anyone.}

_{As sex addicts, most of us are deeply ashamed of our compulsive behavior and this creates even thicker walls between us and others. Our addiction caused us to withdraw, so we lost meaningful contact with other people. We struggled to keep our addiction a secret, especially from those we loved and who loved us. But this secret world was killing us.}

_{When newcomers attend their first meetings, they are often astounded to hear others sharing the details of their addiction openly, thoroughly, and honestly. Newcomers realize that they have found a place where they can open that room inside themselves, for the first time sharing completely with other people. What they share about themselves is treated with respect and compassion. They are entirely welcomed by a fellowship of other men and women. The healthy desire for communion with others, thwarted so long by the existence of that secret, shameful world, finally finds a place of fulfillment.}

_{In the fellowship we learn about the Twelve Steps, which are suggested as an integral part of our program of recovery. They are simple, thoughtful tools that, when applied with sincerity, demand a rigorous appraisal of our addiction, our relationship with ourselves and others, and our spiritual nature. The Steps provide a framework for a housecleaning of the self which leads to a personal, emotional and spiritual renewal.}

_{Many members discover that the fellowship and communion found in meetings is a power that affects their lives more compellingly than their individual strivings for self-determination.}

_{SRA AND THERAPY}

_{The SRA position on therapy is implied in our program preamble: "SRA is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution; does not engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any causes." Therefore, our official position is that we take no stand on therapy. We neither encourage it nor discourage it.}

_{Many of us, however, have sought therapy as an adjunct to our SRA recovery. In our meetings we speak freely of our therapy and how it is helping us. In fact, many of us have found our therapists through recommendations of fellow members. So, although we do not "officially" endorse therapy, it is certainly a part of the oral tradition of our fellowship.}

_{DO THEY WORK TOGETHER?}

_{Some therapists see Twelve Step fellowships as being at odds with therapy. Our experience shows that this is not true. Both may address the same issues but they need not be in conflict. Each suggests solutions to the same problem and each can support the other.}

_{SRA offers the opportunity to an individual of having a large group of people supporting him or her while recovering. It offers this support seven days a week, practically round the clock. It also offers peer identification, so people can start to feel less lonely and isolated with their addiction. Knowing and being with others who have the same problem can be immensely healing.}

_{In contrast, therapy offers professional support and guidance as new feelings, memories and thoughts are uncovered. This can be especially crucial in the early stages of sobriety. For it is here that the most volatile emotions usually surface. The care, guidance and assurance of a professional can be extremely important during these stages. Later, when we are out of the critical stages of our early sobriety we find that the ongoing help of our therapists continues to provide a vital role in our personal recoveries.}

_{IN CONCLUSION}

_{Sharing this information about our fellowship with the helping professions is part of an effort to reach out to those who are suffering from sexual addiction. We are always happy to meet with concerned individuals or to share our experience with classes, seminars, or other interested groups. If you or someone you know would like more information about our program you may contact us at 212-340-4650 or email us at info@sexualrecovery.org}

© Copyright Sexual Recovery Anonymous World Wide Services, Inc. all rights reserved. Approved by the SRA General Services Board 1991.